Guru Pitka is the self proclaimed "number-two guru in the world", after Deepak Chopra. A flashback shows that Pitka was an orphan, taught by Guru Tugginmypudha. When the twelve year old Pitka announces he wants to become a guru so that girls will love him, Tugginmypudha puts a chastity belt on him until he can learn that loving himself is more important than being loved by others. Pitka asks if he can still masturbate but is warned if he attempts to he will become blind with strabismus like Tugginmypudha.
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